When women become too involved in their adult son’s life, it can handicap them. Single mothers sometimes suffer from inferiority complexes, guilt and shame of being the only parent which will result in them allowing bad behavior, poor life choices and enabling weaknesses.
Boys (and girls) will eventually become adults one day but sometimes that can only occur in the absence of crippling and protective parents. When your son experiences disappointments in life, spoon feeding him and lessening his load may the most natural thing to do but it may not be the best thing to do. Coddling and comforting has its limits and can sometimes hinder and hurt when an important lesson can be learned in its absence.
When your son hurt others, break the law or participate in any illicit activity, they should expect consequences from those closest to them so the lesson is taught in love. If not, your son can run the risk of being taught that same lesson with a good old-fashion butt whipping in the streets, the police or even a bullet. Lessons in life will continue to present themselves until they are learned so the next time the situation can be avoided. Saving your son from himself will tire and stress you and when parenting should become easier and have benefits as the child grows.
I can not remember where I saw this quote but it changed my life and outlook on motherhood forever:
“A good mother prepares her children to live without her; not depend on her.”
So the next time you son calls to borrow money for a need (when all his wants are met) or wants to borrow the car (but his license are still suspended) think about whether or not your response is hindering or helping him the long run.